in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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