You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
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