Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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