I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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