He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
