She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
