i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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