yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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