and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
