I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
