I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
People in love make me want to vomit
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
