i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I'm bleeding and have questions
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
