dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
My vagina is very pro this idea
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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