she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
