i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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