yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
