i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
