Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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