Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
