O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
