She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
