quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I believe in your delicious
Randomize
