i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
