How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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