still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
