the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
she pinky promised me she was 18
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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