I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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