He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
she smelled like a LAN party
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
