I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
