I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Randomize
