And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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