Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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