We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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