I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
