Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
