dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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