Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
