we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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