He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
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