What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
