dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
