this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm sobbing to NWA
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
