WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
