Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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