so explain again why im purple
no
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
