i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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