I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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