yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
