I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
