Define "chronic" masturbator.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
