Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
