called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
